5 月31日的感想

再过几个小时，就是2004年的下半年了。在过去的半年里，你做了些什么呢？

懵懵懂懂地过了半年，现在回想起来，好像没有什么成就。。。2004刚开始时，立了一些new year resolution，一件都没实现，真的是。。。唉。。。

不过，好消息是，还有半年的时间让我去做我想做的事情。。。：）

I’m going to ask you to be very honest with yourselves.

How many times have you complain about things the other people are not doing right without taking a step back to look at yourselves?

Did you ever speak badly about other people getting all the limelight after taking the initiative to get things done, conveniently forgetting that when you were given the same opportunity, you didn’t take it up?

How about saying one thing, and doing another?

I can bet, that all of you have such moments. I am not spared from this either. I hate to say this, but most Singaporeans, do not walk their talk.

What exactly is walking your talk? It simply means doing the things that you talk about. Confusing? Not really. Let me show you why…

I have seen some parents complaining about how naughty their neighbours’ kids are, how they break everything in sight, how they bully the other children. Yet, their children are not exactly angels. In fact, some of them are worse.Someone I know, who is known for exceptional use of words and ideas, somehow gets on people’s nerves, because, he doesn’t seem to practice what he preaches.

We’ve all been told, what goes around, comes around. We smile at other people, other people will smile back at us. I think in Singapore, we smile at other people, they glare back at you. Like you are some kind of lunatic.

We talk about a gracious society, but are we really one? Take a look at the people going for performances in Esplanade, and the crowd in Sydney Opera House. Over here, audiences are under-dressed, late for shows and even have the audacity to complain about paying full priced tickets and not being able to watch the entire show when being rejected entry to the theatre. Other countries? They observe the rules and are dress to the nines. It is a form of respect, to the performers.

Get the picture?

If everybody starts to walk their talk, wouldn’t we have less misunderstandings or miscommunications? Even less politics? Isn’t that great!

昨天，是一位认识很久的朋友的婚礼。

身为好朋友兼好搭档的我（我们在一起打了很多年球），当然义不容辞，当她的姐妹。。。 ：）虽然我已经做了好多次了。。。

看到他们开心的样子，真的由衷祝福他们。记得她说过，她会爱上他老公的主要原因，是因为he makes her laugh，在一起很快乐。

在这里，让我再一次祝福这位好友，百年好和！

Just the other day, I saw 2 primary school boys smoking and swearing. Profanities were all over the place. There was another time, I saw a very young girl (think she is barely 5 years old) shouting “I hate you!” at her own mother.

How many times have we seen children behaving like little rascals? Worse when you find their parents to be the grown up versions of their children? I was brought up in an environment where we were told to be respectful, courteous, and considerate. My parents believe that you have to teach the right values when the children are young by setting the examples. Pretty much like the Chinese proverb, 上梁不正下梁歪，if the upper beam is crooked, the lower beam will not be straight. Children, after all, have impressionable minds.

Let me share my experience with you. When I was coaching part time in a neighbourhood secondary school during university days, I made it a point to be there 10 or 15 mins early to ensure that things are in order. My players however, seem to like wasting my time, always strolling in 5 or 10 mins late, sometimes, more than half an hour. They were like a bunch of monkeys, ill-disciplined and inconsiderate. I had a hard time pulling the kids together, especially the 15 yr olds. Being their coach, I had the chance to speak to some of their parents and there was this striking resemblance, which was unfortunately, not limited to the looks. You know, someone once said, “For rarely are sons similar to their fathers; most are worse, and a few, are better than their fathers.” I think it’s quite true.I tried all ways, from scolding to persuading to denying them the chance to represent their school, in order to instill discipline. I had to resort to strict ground rules. One of the rules I had, was that they have to apologise to everyone if they were late. Likewise, MC has to be produced if they are sick.

I remember a girl who was giving me particularly more problems than the rest of the girls. She was one of the better players, yet she would either turn up late, or go missing in action. After the rules were set, she was missing for 1 week and when she came back, she was late. In fact, she sashayed in 45 minutes into the training session. Obviously, I waited for her MC and apologies but she didn’t produce any of those. I was pretty irritated by then. The conversation then went something like this:

Me: Why are you late?
Her: Overslept.
Me: What happened to u last week?
Her: Sick.
Me: Haven’t you forgotten something? Where’s your MC?
Her: What?
Me: Didn’t I say if you are sick, you need to give me your MC and if you are late, you have to apologise to the team?

She kept quiet and stared defiantly at me. Furious, I lashed out.

Me: Where is the basic courtesy? Don’t you have my number? Why didn’t you call me? Why do you think I give my number to you? For fun? If you know you can’t wake up in the mornings, you jolly well go to bed earlier the night before! If you are not interested to come on time, why should I waste my time and everybody else’s time to go through what I’ve taught again? Since you want to behave like a princess, you can go home now. I don’t need a princess in the team.

With that I turned back to the rest of the team and continued coaching. She shouted from behind, saying that I was being biased and she was not in the wrong. I couldn’t be bothered. The rest of the players suddenly behaved more like human beings.

Guess what? The following week, she was early! In fact, everyone was there earlier than I was! She apologized to me sheepishly saying that after thinking about it, she realised I was right and she decided to be punctual for all the trainings.

Be it parents, mentors, teachers, or friends, we are all influential people in some ways, believe it or not. It is very important to set an example and to lead by example, whether you like it or not. I have seen parents with children in tow, jumping restaurant queues, being rude to elderly and punctuate every sentence with a profanity, sometimes a whole string of them. Imagine how the kids will grow up to be! A friend, who incidentally is a discipline master in a school, smokes like a chimney, gets drunk every weekend and does the most absurd things.

In summary, children and in fact, every single one of us pick up things very fast especially the not so good ones. We should try and set good examples for the people around us. A gracious society? Or a malicious environment? I’ll leave it to you to decide for yourselves.

好快哦，又过了一个星期。

有点累，可能是这几天都很迟睡，然后很早起床。。。

Productivity 很烂。没心情。。。

哎呀，都不知道在写什么。不写喽。。。

The man and his moisturizer

“Aiyo, Jillian, how come u look like an auntie when u are only so young? For goodness’ sake, wear some make up la!”

This was what a MALE customer of mine said to me one day. And I found out that he has got better tips on personal grooming than any of my girlfriends. Ouch!

Gone are the days when the desire to look good and smell good is solely a woman’s privilege.

Gone are the days when spas, beauty and slimming salons are out of bounds to the men out there.

Gone are the days when only the fairer sex contributes more to the beauty industry in the pursuit of ultimate beauty.

In this day and age, the quest for good looks is part and parcel of everyone’s lives. Men included. The male preoccupation for aesthetic harmony, is now COMPARABLE to that of women.

Social conventions traditionally have it that women should be more concerned about their appearances than men. But hey... think about it for a while. Do you know that male displays of vanity dated back to the days of Narcissus?

For many years, Japanese men have been going to salons, getting their eyebrows neaten, their pores cleaned and their hands manicured. Just 5 years ago, men in the other parts of the world would have squirmed at the mere thought of stepping into a salon. Nowadays, the trend has swept the rest of the world’s male population by whirlwind and has given rise to a brand new species: the metrosexual.

The term “metrosexual” was actually invented by Mark Simpson, a British writer. It describes an urban male with a strong aesthetic sense who spends a great deal of time and money on his appearance and lifestyle and is NOT afraid to embrace his feminine side.

An epitome of the metrosexual is none other than the famous footballer, David Beckham, sexual scandals aside, who has been known to paint his fingernails. Even in the local scene, our very own comedian Mark Lee has gone through multiple facial peels, to smoothen his orange peel like skin. Kumar? He's definitely in touch and embracing his feminine side. *grin*

This is not only happening to the rich and famous, my customer for one, spends his free time working out and going for facials, shopping and making sure he slaps on his trusted moisturizer on a quotidian basis.

Until recently, the male grooming market was just about shaving creams and toothpaste. But at the end of the last century, fashion and cosmetics brands started to capitalize on metrosexuality to break into the men’s market. Jean Paul Gaultier, who was one of the first to go into the industry, lauched a product line for men and within 6 months after the launch, more than 500,000 items were sold!And listen to this!

In a survey done by the British retail chain Superdrug, women are asked to identify annoying habits of their husbands or boyfriends.

More than 3 quarter of the participants say that they hate it when their man swipe their beauty products, ranking it a BIGGER sin than leaving the toilet seats up.

In a recent FHM survey done in Wales, a total of 67 % of total men under 40 now use a moisturizer, 76 % use a blemish concealer and 85% admitted to spending more than 45 pounds a month on skincare! Goodness! That’s even more than what I spend on grooming myself! Can't believe men are getting more and more vain these days.

In France, for instance, the growth of men’s beauty products OVER-PERFORMED the whole market, with an average increase on 7% from 1997 to 2001. In 2003 alone, men’s cosmetic products counted for 10.5% of the whole French market.

In Singapore, more and more beauty salons are coming up with programs for the urban male and they are also making a huge impact in the way that the Singapore Man sees personal grooming.

With more men working in the services industries and having occupations where personal appearance has become a key success factor, it is hardly surprising isn’t it?

At the end of the day, men are moving away from the traditional idea of “the closer you resemble monkeys, the more manly you are”. In my humble opinion, men are the new women, and this idea is here to stay. Oh and by the way, I don’t really look that bad, do I?

中国大陆流行的手机短讯：

“有心的无力，有力的无钱，有钱的无情，有情的无缘，有缘的无分，有分的正在闹离婚。”

怎么这样嘛？

爱，就不要有遗憾。。。

曾经听过这样的一个故事。

一对年老的夫妻，整整二十年没和对方说一句话，为的是二十年前的一个误会。妻子不幸患上末期癌症，不久于人世。年老的丈夫这个时候突然间一病不起，身体每况愈下。最后，丈夫比自己患上癌症的妻子先行了一步，临终前对自己的孩子说：“我这一生中最后悔的，就是这整二十年来因为自尊心，一句话都没和你妈妈说。现在，来不及了。。。”不久之后，患病的妻子也跟随着自己的丈夫，留下遗憾，走了。

两个深爱着对方的人，为什么竟然彼此伤害着对方？当初为了彼此，不顾千辛万苦，携手踏上了共同的人生道路，誓言着至死不渝的坚定信念，到了婚后，却因为芝麻小事打到水火不容的地步。值得吗？

为什么明明深爱着他，却又要以最狠毒的话来刺伤他？伤害到自己的心中最爱，不也是间接的伤害到自己？何必呢？夫妻若不能谅解对方，那还有谁能够做到？到了最后，如果只剩下遗憾，太可惜了。

尝试着谅解对方，放下尊严。。。毕竟你身边的那个人，是你最深爱的人。。。千万别到了最后，才来后悔，才觉得遗憾。。。

屋顶

半夜睡不着觉把心情哼成歌
只好到屋顶找另一个梦境
睡梦中被敲醒我还是不确定
怎曾有动人弦律在对面的屋顶
我悄悄关上门带着希望上去
原来是我梦里常出现的那个人
那个人不就是我梦里
那模糊的人我们有同样的默契
用天线用天线排成爱你的形状ho ho
在屋顶唱着你的歌
在屋顶和我爱的人
让星星点缀成最浪漫的夜晚
拥抱这时刻这一分一秒全都停止
爱开始纠结
在屋顶唱着你的歌
在屋顶和我爱的人
将泛黄的的夜献给最孤独的月
拥抱这时刻这一分一秒全都停止
爱开始纠结梦有你而美
让我爱你是谁是我
让你爱我是谁是你
怎会有动人弦律环绕在我俩的身边
让我爱你是谁是我
让你爱我是谁是你
原来是这屋顶有美丽的邂逅
在屋顶唱着你的歌在屋顶和我爱的人

太迟了

雨，很大。雨点打在身上的感觉，竟然是如此凄凉。
人，走了。心，被掏空了。原以为能一起活到一百岁。。。

现实，很残酷。。。不止掏空了我的心，还打得我遍体鳞伤。原来全世界最可笑的，最愚蠢的，是我。两个人在一起，真爱真的能战胜一切？面对着爱情和面包，我竟然不知道怎么做出选择？是自己爱得不够深？还是这世上根本没有真爱这回事？

一向来认为，两个人在一起，如果要有好日子过，一定要好好计划一番。如果现在把一切计划的很周详，那么我们老的时候，要做什么都可以了。常常以自以为很伟大的想法，来断定随性的不成熟。

她走的那天，我没跟她说“我爱你”。

她走的那天，我以为还是能和往常一样，等到第二天才对她说我多么疼惜她。

她走的那天，我甚至没有抬起头来，温柔的对她说“路上小心”。

她走的那天，所有计划都变成了空头支票，永远兑不了现。

已经来不及了，很懊悔。。。多么恨自己。。。恨自己在拥有的时候，没好好珍惜。随性一点，没有什么不对，为什么我偏偏。。。

一切都太迟了。。。

雨，很大。脸上的水，已经分不清是泪还是雨水。

伯乐难寻？

想要换一下工作环境， 尝试一下其他职业。偏偏遇不上伯乐。

有时你跃跃欲试，别人却不给你机会，好像古代的秀才，满腹才能，却英雄无用武之地。。。

唉，几时才能遇到我的伯乐？